More neutral this way

Tonight I'm glad I stayed
Because I can observe
And not participate.

It's everything

It's everything: slow and fast, feelings and things, you and me.
It's everywhere: up and down, in a spin, around.
It's everywhen: all at once.
It's a waltz that I'm waiting for while there is still time.
And then?.. no silence to be quiet. Easy to imagine, but no need

Why is it never now

I've been wanting a waltz
But it's a tango.
Why is it never now?
I've been wanting you...
One, two... what is three?
Then one.
Petals, wind, swirl, no more time
None
How easy not to be...
One two three one two three

I still don't want to say...

Courageously surrender

The white outline is a blur.
Was what I saw an illusion of choice?
But I accepted what there was.
Surrendered.
Now at least no longer ashamed to admit my fears.
Open the palms. Accept. Courageously surrender. To what?
The moon is right above, the white outline...
I might not like this tomorrow.

Random light

Even if you don't know it, you are doing it for me:
Random light, somewhere storm...
Some time sea.

One day one night

One day
There might be one night
When things will go well after starting right.
One day there may be yet
One night I will not forget.

If it's...

If it's only in your imagination, does it exist? If it doesn't exist, can it be lost?

When Sky Water's Falling

When sky water's falling, 
When no one is calling,
When everything here is gray and wet.
For once you don't matter
For worse or for better.
I'm going nowhere, yet I'm late.

No dialogues

No more you. It's he.
No more you. It's me.
No more dialogues.

Wind

You make the sparks come faster
To make me smile.
You make me just a little cold,
Remind me to tell you that I love you

What am I saying

What am I saying?
Words.
What are you hearing??

Double joy

I will forget you.
You'll come to me again.
I'll reinvent you.

Engulf

When you engulf me
How do l feel to you?
What do you feel for me?
Would you let me be?
Is it up to you
Or is it up to me?
Would I let you be?
Would you let me breathe?

Cold

I needed that: to let him go,
To make some room for me instead.
So that was worth you - no regret.

A poem

I feel you circling me, approaching, slowly... Do I feel?..

I know I want you. I know you want me. Do I know?..

You are not flirting,  teasing, hesitating, being shy.
You just don't know how. Neither do I...

Waiting for something to translate you into words. Is this you?..

A little disquiet

Images... thoughts... a little disquiet... desire?
A question?
A smile.

People come

People come and go, and go, and go... Until they are gone.

Dettifoss

It is it,
It's not like...
It's my choice if I like.
I am I.

He stepped out into the sun.

And nothing happened.

Growing up a troll child you learn a lot of rules and prohibitions: never cross the king's path, say a special curse when you see a human, and on and on... But most importantly, never-ever go into the sunlight - it will turn you into a stone.

He no longer remembered how his transgressions started. It must have been by mistake, he must have been very small. By now he had broken many rules. At first he felt mortified, then afraid,  then naughty, then rebellious, then curious. Now he felt... nothing.

Well, at this very moment he felt a little cold, and thought that sunlight might warm him up.

He stepped out into the sun. And nothing happened. He did feel a bit warmer though, so he kept on walking. Not a stone yet. Is he a troll at all? Maybe he is an elf, a giant,  a god,  a human? And what does it mean to be one or another?  A different set of rules to follow or to break?

He had beautiful eyes. But there was no one there to look at them, into them, and to tell him. 

Me all

I want to give me all to you
While I'm with you.
And then I'll go.

Somewhere in these streets

Somewhere in these streets there is you, whom I wanted to meet. Maybe tonight, maybe never... I know you are tired. That's why I came all the way, and am here - to make it easier for you, for me to find you.

Somewhere in this room there is me, whom I wanted to meet. Ever since I met you last time... Now I know I'm afraid of me. That's why I came all the way, to give me what I want, to lure me out of my hiding, to find me.

Somewhere in this sky there is this song. Still about you, maybe less, maybe last. It just woke me up. It just found me.

When there's no time

When there's no time
Everything's at once.
When there's no time
What about us?
There's no need to wait
When time is to end,
There is no when.

You don't need to remember me

You don't need to remember me,
To carry me, to feel that I'm a burden.
You don't need to remember me
Cause I am for you - when and where you want me.

It was fake

It was fake, but in a way it was true.
It was fake, but in a way it was for you.
I wasn't happy that day,
And in shame it went away
Its own way,
But in a way it would stay.

Like a falling leaf

Like a falling leaf... gentle
Like a river breeze... quiet
Barely there. But you are

When I'm with you

When I'm with you
I don't need to chase you,
Use you,
Waste you,
Lose you.
When I'm with you.

You give you all,
And I take.
You're when I fall,
When I wake
You set the pace
And we go.
With you there's no
Fast or slow.

Do we find out?
Do you show?
Do you know things
I don't know?
Would you reply
If I asked?
And would you grant
My request?

When I'm with you
I don't need to worry,
Hurry,
Or feel sorry.
When I'm with you.

When I'm with you
I don't need to wonder,
Ponder.
We just wander
When I'm with you.

---

What is better : song without love or love without song? Now you got both :-)

Sink in a cloud

I float in water,
You sink in a cloud
And glow from below.
That's how I like you, you know.

It's not quite love

It's not quite love,
It's only folly,
I'm only falling,
It's not yet love.
Ti da dam...

Not every day is today

Not every day is today,

Not every tune is a song,

Not every drop is a rain or a part of a waterfall.

Not every day is today,

Not every word has a meaning I want,

Not every day is a day that will not be forgotten.

I’m dreaming of woods and don’t look at the trees.

Inventing a feeling, missing out on this.

Explaining those memories, when I should leave them behind me.

I am looking for beauty and don’t notice the view.

I am craving for something instead of being with you.

I am searching for words instead of just letting them find me.

Not every day is today,

Not every wish has its way,

Not every pain can remain

And most will be forgotten...

It's evening

It's evening. Clouds.
Abbey on the hill. Green grass....
I'm tired.

Tale of a stone

There was a stone. On a rocky beach between the sea and the mountains.

It observed… the changing seasons; the wind - sometimes gentle sometimes stormy; the water - sometimes sweet from the rain, sometimes salty from the waves; the seagulls sometimes landing on it.

Sometimes it remembered… for example, how a few seasons ago several grains of soil accumulated in its crevices and from them grew a few blades of grass.

It never wondered and it never pondered.

Until one day a travelling druid was passing by and sat on the stone to rest. The druid started telling the stone about the far away lands across the sea; about the different landscapes beyond the mountains; about people, and magic, and magical stones. And for the very first time the stone wondered...

The druid finished his tale and got up. He thanked the stone for being such a good listener… and then he smiled mischievously and asked, “Would you like to make a wish?” A wish? The stone had never wished before. But now… it realized that it did: it wanted to walk like the druid, to see those far away places... It did not even get a chance to fully experience that feeling of wanting, when the druid struck his magic wand and turned the stone into a man.

   -   The end    -

Hey, what happened to the stone? This cannot be the end of the stone’s tale!

Well, this is. What follows is another tale, of a man who used to be a stone.

You make me feel like I fall

You make me feel like I fall,
You make me feel like I'm light,
You make me feel like I'm loved,
You make me feel like I'm liked.

You make me feel like I am,
I am with me and with you.
There is nobody around
Except my beautiful you.

And then you give me this hug,
And then you give me this song -
It is a song for just now,
It doesn't need to be long.

I will remember this wind
That blows around my head.
I will remember and then…
I’ll very likely forget…

You make me feel like I fall -
It is so easy with you.
How can you be so well known
And at the same time so new?

When you are now

When you are now
Things move slower
No matter what your speed.

Thanks for the compliment,

But I’m already bored by only being adored.
I would like to admire you too.
Show me something, will you?

When I remembered

When I remembered your kiss
I found words to describe it.
Now I remember those words
But I forgot your kiss.

To be donig

I want to do things because I want to be doing them not because I want to have done them.

My simple poem

My simple poem,
You are rather mundane.
But you chose me,
Made you mine,
Made me yours,
For those few moments
When you were being composed.

The *est

It could have been the happiest day, the deepest insight, the best sex, the saddest song, the fastest ride, the strongest feeling.
But I was thinking, looking at the ground; you were in a hurry and did not really notice me. 

It does not have to be the *est. Good is good enough.
But when our eyes met, we absent-mindedly smiled politely and walked on. Only the tiniest pang of doubt: “Am I missing something?”

To Sadness

Dear Sadness,

Sorry, I suppose I am being ungrateful. I am all upset and whiny and craving attention, and here you are - practically chasing me. And what am I doing? Ignoring and avoiding you. Instead of appreciating your company and just being with you for a while. Do you have something to tell me? Something that would change my life? Or something funny? Or more likely sad?

Hey, why does it have to be about me? Do you simply want to be acknowledged and loved? I guess we all do.

IOU

I owe you to have nothing to lose,
To let you be.
I owe you me.

Capture transience

How can you capture transience?
With ink? melody? unrequited love fantasy? train ride?
Why would you want to?
Isn’t captive transience just another burden?

So brief

So brief

Only just begun and - poof!.. gone
Not giving you a chance to get bored.
Was it even noticed? Would be missed?

Unfinished poem

How do you know if a poem is unfinished? Maybe that’s all it wanted to say. Or maybe it lost interest, got distracted, gave up… or still waiting for something? Maybe it likes ambiguity, leaving things open to interpretation, and it’s all by design. Would it change the way you feel?

Time is money

They measure you, allocate you, “buy” you, “borrow” you, “steal” you, trade you for money and other imaginary benefits - you, one of the few things that is unquestionably real. They think that by portioning and selling you they make themselves rich. But they are robbing themselves, because each of them could have all of you... all the time.

All I ever need

All I ever need is here,
And all I’ll ever want
I'm saving for the end.

1 little pale star

1 little pale star... Compared to that night in the wilderness.
But then I notice more, 
Peeking shyly from behind the city-lit mist,
Quietly whispering to each other.
Then the sleepy light turns in for the night, 
And there are more of them,
Staring at me, chattering silently.
I think I recognize some.
Are you looking up?

Get to know

You will never get to know me.
And no, it’s not your loss
Because you are not looking for what I have to offer.
Or so I think…
Because I never got a chance to know you either.

Word by word

I want you bit by bit and word by word.
I love your fleeting whispers.
You’d lose your lightness if you added to a book.

The notebook

The notebook is heavier
With ink,
Not burden to remember.

What am I writing about?

Me, them, my feelings, my thoughts, some stranger feelings and thoughts that visit me. Sometimes they crowd around my head and I feel their presence, then often one or two manage to make their way onto paper through my hand.

Sometimes I write poems about my own stories, or stories about my own poems - these are my favorite: meta-poems, where inspiration overflows the original piece and wants more attention.

I don’t write from another’s perspective. I am a bit bothered by that fact - lack of imagination? - but it’s just not there. Maybe it’s a stage: I’ve been separated from myself for so long that I want to explore my own point of view before imagining someone else’s.

How many

How many will you kiss?
And who will be remembered?
How many will you want to kiss again?

In your place

You left, and in your place
there is this sadness,
which I am now glad to have.

Horizon

Horizon is an interesting line.
Sometimes I want a peek,
Sometimes I’m happy
To have more left for later to explore.

Rather few

Some days are there to stay with you.
Some places come and follow you.
Some songs and strangers make you new.
They’re rather few.

Some days

Some days are there to stay with you;
They are not many, rather few.
Most hours vanish, all but some,
But some can last for years to come.
A private replica of time.

Am I in yours? You are in mine.

I had a thought

I had a thought

That I forgot.

Maybe I'll find it,

Maybe not...

Walk

We don’t need to talk, we don’t need to remember,
We don’t need to think, we can simply be.
We can write a song, but it doesn’t matter.
It’s as simple as you coming out for a walk with me.

At the pace of time everything is quiet.
With the size of sky you’re completely free.
I just wrote your name and you did not mind
Because now you’re too coming out for a walk with me

You can fall like night, you can fall like autumn,
You can fall in love, or you can fall asleep.
You can fall like snow, little flakes of water
That are snoring quietly now underneath our feet.

Just that for me

Or maybe you’re just that for me:
Something intangible and lost that wasn’t meant to be.

It’s been so long…
Still feels the same.
Still trying to decide:
To write or not to write.

Dear disappointment,

First, I admit it: I am plagiarizing a religion. Fortunately, the copyright has expired.

Now that we got that out of the way, may I invite you to join my pantheon? See, I want to believe that you are kind to me, that you are taking care of me, even when it does not appear to be the case. It’s just easier that way. I’m so tired of fighting and avoiding you.

We’ll have a big jolly party at the top of Walhalla: you, me, fear, pain, anger, contempt, regret, hate, doubt. Maybe more folks will join later, as I dig deeper into my soul: one big happy family. We’ll get to know each other, make friends, have a feast, maybe an orgy.. Should be fun! Would you come? Please?

Want

I tend to want. Sometimes things. Mostly for things to happen.

It’s been bothering me, that I concentrate on the object of my desire and don’t notice other things.

But then those other things can sneak up on me, completely unexpected, and catch me by surprise. Boo! No time to mentally prepare, develop expectation or, God forbid, desires… Only pure perception - the most gratifying of them all.

Thinking about that, I think I want to want.

First things first

I will respect you, I’ll be brief,
I’ll say the main thing first:
Goodbye!

Breath

I’m holding you.
You are my breath.

At first fulfilled;
By now - stifled.

You are my breath,
And I exhale.

To you who love me

Before, I wanted you to need me. To be afraid to lose me. To give up everything for me just to show me that you couldn’t imagine your life without me. Because I needed your love to feel good about myself.

I don’t need that anymore. Now I don’t want you to need me.

I want you to want me. Among other things that you want. I don’t want this love to limit or burden you - I want you to enjoy it. If I am away, I want you to know that you still have me.

I want you to be proud that I choose to love you. That I can love you. It doesn’t happen often, you know.

You were a coin

You were a coin when I tossed you,
But now you fell and maybe are
For me - a falling star.

To a moment

I will forget you, I think.

And I thank you. For offering yourself to me for my consideration. For not having any claims on me, on my memory.

No need to name names, to call you boring, unremarkable, unmemorable. No need to blame myself for not being observant, attentive, for not finding deeper beauty in you beyond the first unimpressive impression.

We part ways as friends, soon-to-be forgotten could-have-been friends.